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Vol 723 - Aug 24, 2008 - Strange Accident Claims in England
Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - --------------------- NEW! - MySpace Members - Please NOTE that we have just added a TAB on each Joke Page and Image Page that NOW Makes it Easy for you to add "Strange" Items to your Individual MySpace pages! Just CLICK on the Bottom Right MySpace ICON! It's Quick & Easy! ------------------------ Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet? Get ready to jump into something "Strange!" http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html ================================== Strange Quotes About "Fools" A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. ~ Douglas Adams You don't have to fool all the people all of the time; you just have to fool enough to get elected. ~ Gerald Barzan The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way. ~ Josh Billings A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him. ~ Nicholas Boileau Get the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything. ~ Frank Dane A man who cannot reason is a fool, a man who will not reason is a bigot, and a man who dare not reason is a slave. ~ William Drummond ================================== Today's Featured Humor : -) - Accident Claims in England These are some daft things whcih have been written on Insurance claim forms "I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought." "I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket." Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: Travelled by bus? A Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were: Q - What warning was given by you? A - Horn Q - What warning was given by the other party? A - Moo "I had one eye on a parked car, another on approaching lorries, and another on the woman behind". "I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard." "On the M6 I moved from the centre lane to the fast lane but the other car didn't give way." "On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke." "I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control." "I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight" "While proceeding through 'Monkey Jungle', the vehicle was enveloped by small fat brown grinning monkeys. Number three fat brown monkey (with buck teeth) proceeded to swing in an anticlockwise direction on the radio aerial. Repeated requests to desist were ignored. Approximately 2 minutes and 43 seconds later, small fat brown monkey disappeared in 'Monkey Jungle' clutching radio aerial." "Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably voodoo." "The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again." "I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident." "Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have." "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention." "I thought my window was down, but I found out it wasn't when I put my head through it". "I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way". "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car". "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him." "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole." "I had been shopping for plans all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car." "I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. "To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian." "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished." "The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him." "I saw a slow-moving, sad faced old gentleman, as he bounced off the roof of my car" "The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth." "I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows." ================================== Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix ================================== STRANGE SKYDIVING - 4 PEOPLE IN A CONVERTIBLE?????? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/140998.html STRANGE MOTORCYCLE - WITH TRAINING WHEELS? - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/141444.html F-14 TOMCATS - ON THE EDGE OF THE CARRIER DECK! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/141598.html THE SAN ANDREAS FAULT - COOL AERIAL VIEW OF DETAILS - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/141880.html 1950's WOOLWORTHS MENU - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/141883.html STRANGE "PIMPED" MOTORCYCLE WITH SIDECAR - 1 - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/141727.html CELEBRITY CELLULITE PROBLEMS! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/141885.html STRANGE RANCHER TAKES HIS STEER FOR A RIDE IN A CONVERTIBLE! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/141918.html OLD WWII PIN UP - SEXY MACHINE GUNNER! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/141929.html TANK KEEPS SCORE - ROCK THROWING KIDS! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/141931.html STRANGE 'SNOWCONE' CAT - PURPLE TONGUE! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/141591.html NAVY SHIP LEAVES PORT - NAVY WIFE DOING WHAT SHE'S DONE TO MANY YEARS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/141937.html PURE WHITE SNAKE - BLUE EYES! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/141940.html STRANGE CONCEPT CARS - CITREON - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/141946.html GREAT SHOPLIFTING SIGN - WIN A FREE RIDE IN A POLICE CAR! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/141978.html STRANGE SPORTS FANS - THE HATES THIS BICYCLE RACER! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/141985.html CUTBACKS AT THE FIRE DEPARTMENT - TRUCK REPLACED BY "FIRE BICYCLE" - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/142008.html ELVIS STOPS TO SIGN AUTOGRAPH - ON KIDS HEAD! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/142009.html ================================== The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - MISC - CRAZY STUFF - TRAINS - BICYCLES - VANITY PLATES http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100006_1.html ================================== The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week 10 Strange Things You Didn't Know About Houdini - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/140777.html Strange Facts About Icebergs - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/141875.html You Know You're Stressd When..... - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/100512.html You Know You Work in Corporate America in the 2000's if... - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/107485.html - 11 Nasty Office Pranks - Funny But Could Get You Fired! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/25643.html TINY MOTORCYCLE FUN - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/100771.html ================================== The Featured New Category This Week - Work, Job, Corporate - Boss Jokes & Business Humor http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/119_1.html ================================== Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/ Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/ Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/ Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/ Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/ All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/ Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/ Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/ Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/ Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/ Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/ Hurricanes - Lightning Tsunamis - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/ ========================== ********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!) 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